a flower for friday

this little flower is occupying a spot along my driveway usually reserved for dandelions and stray grass (which I am quick to pluck up). it is one "weed" with which I can live! 

when a writer can't write

This comment:

It's like when a writer can't write anymore after they lose someone

from a blogging friend who is really much sweeter than her blogger name would imply (snothead) got me thinking. Often times it feels like when the world is screaming around me I have no power to put even two coherent thoughts together, much less an understandable couple of paragraphs. Or an article - no. A couple or so years ago I did some freelance writing for the second largest paper in the state. It was the most fun job I've ever had. And then ... then we got the bad news about my mom. Terminal. And I could no longer write. It all seemed so meaningless. What was the point? I would look around and wonder ... I'd wonder why do people build buildings? What do they do, going to work? What is the point? It seems as though we are all playing this giant game with some made-up rules. But WHY?

And so suddenly I couldn't write. I could not write about the preschool music class or the performing dance group that had been dancing since I was a child. I no longer had the energy or brain capacity to think through an article. I no longer cared. 

My mom is still sick. But my mom is also still alive! We never imagined we'd still have her in 2009. You just never know with life. Things I've never though possible have happened and when the stress rises, I feel my ability to articulate evaporate like the morning dew when the sun rises up over the mountains. And I usually tuck my head under my wing or bury it in the ground, hoping for whatever-it-is to disappear but in so doing I think I'm waiting for my life to disappear. There will always be something. And sometimes I have to choose what I don't want because it is truly the best choice for the most people. My life isn't mine. That is a very odd concept. Not necessarily unsettling. Just odd. It belongs more to my children than to me. 

So there you go. I'm not sure what that all means - just that sometimes it gets difficult to write. And sometimes a simple comment can unleash a whole bunch of thoughts. I took a psychology class once where we were taught that memory is like the card catalog filing system the libraries used to have (remember those?). The first animal learned most often by babies is "Gog" (dog). Then every animal becomes a "gog" until the child gradually learns another animal, probably a kitty. The 'animal' drawer of their brain's card catalog starts with the 'dog' card which is followed by 'kitty' and others still. All connected. And we just went a little ways down one of mine.

because I think she's funny

and maybe you will too...

a blog about the cute and silly things Tessa says.

Enjoy!

some pictures

I've been taking pictures. Here are a few. Just for fun.

me

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my new friend

(s/he actually came in the house today,

but I had my husband let it back out. I see it every day)

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some amazing roses my awesome sister gave my mom for mothers day

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our new neighbor

scrapbox

So somewhat back from the nether world ... I wanted to share this super cool thing my cousin is trying to win:

Actually, I'm not sure which style she wants but if I were getting one, this would be the one I'd choose. And man! It looks cool too! Maybe someday if we can ever get that dang crap craft room cleaned out, I can get one. A girl can dream! Then I would no longer have to confess to scrapbooking merely in theory. I could actually do it again! How would that be? My poor little Tessa, who is almost 6, has only 3 pages in her book. 

ah wait, I see this is what she's trying to win. Also very cool!

Ok so these are awesome, you can watch a short video clip here. But if you watch it, consider yourself warned. It's super cool. And if you want to vote for my cousin to give her a chance to win one of her very own (and she is so nice and cute that she should win!) go here and vote for her picture (the snyder pictures page).

taking a break

I'm going to be stepping away from this blog for a while. I haven't been very regular with it lately anyway and things have become ... well ... a little more complicated. I'll still be posting to my pic o' the day blog. It's by invitation only so if I know you and you're interested, let me know. I've made some good blogging friends and I do plan to come back (and likely will keep up on my blog reading too). Love to all. ~Marcia

egg planters

I saw this idea in my current issue of Better Homes and Gardens and fell in love:

Easter hasn't typically been a gift-giving holiday for me but I just couldn't resist these.

we had some chickens...

Ok so does anyone else know that silly little song? We used to sing it in the car when I was a child. It goes something like this:

We had some chickens in our backyard

We had some chickens, no eggs would they lay

Until a rooster got into our yard 

And caught them chickens right off their guard

They're layin' eggs now!

Just like they used-ter

Ever since that rooster

Got into our yard...

On Monday I was putting out my mom's Easter decorations and came across these little birds. My paternal grandma made them a long time ago. I fondly remembered playing with them as a child. I loved the chickens! I took pictures thinking I could maybe recreate them at home, but to my delight my mom let me take this little reddish-pink thing with me. I've made 6 so far, but might not get a chance to photograph them. Tomorrow morning they will go to school (filled with tootsie rolls because I have a zillion of those left over from Birdie's birthday) for the girls' teachers and classroom helpers. After school they will be out on spring break for the next week.

(even if I don't manage to get pictures of the 6 I have right now, I will be making more for other little gifts and can snap a pic of some at some point.)

a little edit for Kim... I guess I forgot to mention that the chicken fits over a plastic Easter egg. I put the tootsie rolls in the eggs. Apparently Grandma (or Maim) also made hens that pooped jelly beans. I'm not sure how that worked, and frankly I'm a little afraid, but my cousin said she's mailing me one.

praying for baby Stellan

a very sick little boy.

(the picture is a link to his mama's blog, click on it if you'd like to read about him. He has a very serious heart condition.)

tiny things

On Saturday I made a little sweater and hat set for my daughter's friends' little stuffed lamb. In case you think I've lost my mind (which actually you'd be right about, but that's beside the point) I am aware that is a picture of a horse. I had this adorable little friend find an animal from among the legions we own who is similar in size to the lamb of hers. This little horse fit the bill and so here he is modeling the purple and pink set.

The hat was knit on size 2 DPNs while the sweater was knit on size 3 needles (I don't have anything smaller in straight needles) using Caron Simply Soft. I just used buttons that I already had. To show how super tiny the hat really is, I took it's picture next to a ruler.

I brought the finished items to church yesterday and was very pleased to find out that the little girl had also brought her lamb, in case I needed it for sizing but not expecting the items to be finished already (she and I had talked about it on Friday). She was so cute and happy and later that night I received the sweetest thank-you email from her. It made me smile.

Nine Hats

Nine hats are on their way to my friend Momma B. They will be taken to a youth home next week, I think. There are three boyfriend hats and six Jaida's hats.

the Seinfeld entry (a blog post about nothing)

We are getting seriously low on food. And we're out of dog food. We have no butter (a crime!) or bread. I do have yeast so I think I'll bake some yummy bread from a recipe my younger sister posted on our family's website. And I'm out of my medication (anti-anxiety stuff). Not a great thing to have happen. But I really don't want to go to the store. I grabbed taco bell on the way home from volunteering at the school this afternoon and am paying for it now. Ugh. Please someone tell me why I thought that would be a good idea.

Right now I'm making a menu suggestion list (I don't do well with actual plans). So far I have only two meals - tacos (I remembered that I had forgotten about them and taco bell is a poor, poor substitute) and fried chicken (Doug's choice).

And because I believe a blog entry should have a picture:

Doug worked really hard last weekend to get my garden ready for planting. I can put in peas and  beans and other items that don't mind a little cold. The rest will have to wait until Mothers' Day-ish. He was anticipating being out of town for two and a half weeks on a business trip only to have it cancelled because he got called for jury duty (but he's since been dismissed from that too).

because I found this funny

I thought I'd share. A comic taped to the back of the door to the x-ray room at the pediatrician's office:

Hats

boyfriend hats. As you can see, the third one
is still waiting for me to find my yarn needle.

***
Jaida's Hat, two of them that I made today.
since I took these pictures, I've made
one more and another is on the hook.

Green M&M's

My mom is pretty clever. After Christmas she buys the holiday M&M's on clearance. She'll go through the bags and divide them. The red and white ones she puts out for Valentines and the green ones come out for St. Patty's Day. Smart, huh?

I have 3 hats (nearly) finished for the children's home. I just need to find that dang yarn needle (actually the whole bag, as that's what I've misplaced - I keep them all in a small pouch I made a few years ago. Arg) so I can finish the 3rd. I hope to get another done on time to send them off to my friend Momma B. I'll try to get a picture tomorrow. I'm quite pleased with them myself.

nearly finished office

I've neglected this place for a few weeks. I haven't been feeling/doing well. I think I currently have a sinus infection, but we'll see how it goes (away, hopefully!). While my husband was out of town recently, I did a lot of work in here (den/office - I'm not even sure what a 'den' room is...). I didn't get it completely finished, but it's, as Doug said, 200 times better than it was. So here are some pictures. I did not take any before's because I was too embarrassed.

Looking into the room from the hallway. I'm seriously in love with the green walls. Above the bookcase is a piece of once-scrap wood that my oldest (Birdie) burned with a magnifying glass last summer. I thought it was cool so I lightly stained it and hung it here.
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Still kinda messy, you see Doug's corner. He's actually the most organized and neatest person in this house. I have no doubt it will be whipped back into shape in no time. The price he pays for going out of town on me like that! But I post this picture mostly to show the two different colors. Three walls are the lighter shade while the west wall is this darker. It makes me happy.
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My desk area. The cream-colored totes on the shelves we already had but I found the green ones on clearance at walmart while getting more paint. I used my paint chip to check if they would match. Yay for a good deal!
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Kinda the kids' area. A few years ago I chalkboard painted the recesses on the back of the door. On the wall we have a board with lines for music (Doug teaches the girls piano) and their bookshelf. It's full. And there are still more books. Also there the map of the US so we can show them where friends and family live.
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Finally, while at walmart I also found 3 very cheap document frames ($2 each) and hung these paintings Tessa has done within the past year. I'm not sure about the one on the left aside from it just being a person. The one in the middle is Laura Carrot from VeggieTales and on the right, I think that's me.

valentines breakfast

regular pancakes, just a little fancier.

I was wishing I'd thought to mash up some of the

frozen raspberries so they'd be pink (and raspberry-ey).

maybe next year.

on the way home

pictures taken through a sometimes dirty window along the way home (southwest Wyoming & northeast Utah) February 9, 2009. Because Doug was driving, I was free to get in roughly 387 shots (ok, maybe that's a slight exaggeration) along the beautiful return trip from my sister's house.

i finally went

tessa at ikea

I was brave. I finally went to Ikea. I have been terrified for months. All I'd heard was that it's BIG and you write what you want on a card and it's BIG. So today I was finally brave enough to go. Never mind that the courage came only because of the promised aid of personal shoppers (my sister and her husband) and another experienced Ikeaer (another sister) as well as another newbie (yet another sister). Oh no. I was certainly brave.

Tess very much liked the stand upon carts that move very easily and every which way & "The Playing Class" which is her name for any sort of daycare situation. I only bought a small package of cookies as a reward (along with cash) for my oldest daughter who was at Nanny's house helping to babysit a cousin and ended up changing her first diaper of the most unpleasant variety.

If I ever have to decorate a room from the ground up, I know where I'm going.

I really do remember how to knit

And to prove it, I'm working on a hat. And then another, and another, and another after that. And maybe more still. We'll see...